Rantaholics

If you never set foot inside a "health club" there are generally three types of gym personalities, waiting to invade your space like sweaty stench which overtakes your sense of smell. So without further ado, would like to introduce you to some of the people I must interact with at the gym.

Mr. Bobble-head: He comes blazing into the gym, dressed in spandex attire (including a cut off nylon shirt exposing his over tanned skin, due to his hours of training outdoors, no doubt). He can't be bothered with speaking to anyone, let alone let anyone work in with him on a piece of equipment. His erratic movements are accompanied with various sounds of effort you would not hear a woman giving birth make. (Fortunately, the sound of other people, weights clanking drown it out somewhat). As he move the weights back and forth in a very short range of motion his head bounces up and down; like a dashboard accoutrement. I'm just waiting for his head to roll off one of these days or for him to slip off the bench due to the high friction spandex he's so fond of.

Mr. No-Neck: Due to over development of the trapezius muscle, these men have no neck. This type of training is advantageous if you were worried about being choked to death, and many bodybuilders pride themselves on the lack of neck. Years of steroid use and incorrect form/exercise produce this effect. As you view these trap-heads, you will also notice the lack of lower body muscularity. It is amazing to me how their tiny little chicken legs hold up such a large upper torso. Put a pair of pumps on their feet and cut their torso off and they are all set for a evening of cross-dressing antics.

Mr. Poser is the most fun segment of these groups. Mr. Poser is wearing the latest and greatest gym ensemble with matching shoes. Usually Mr. Poser works out with others of his same kind. They feel the necessity to comment on all the people around them and to spend the least amount of time of actually working out. Their commentary can easily be heard within a 10 foot radius, so you will always know where you "stand" with them They spend inordinate amounts of time checking themselves out in the mirror, with a slight smirk and thinking to themselves "Yeah I look good". Once in a great while, they break away from their group dynamic to peer at the random female. Sometimes a stare or a smile and I return with my facial expression, brows raised "You gotta be kidding me".

As for the rest of us gym goers who are just trying to get in better shape and keep to ourselves, we think these guys are hilarious and vastly entertaining. They serve as a constant reminder of how NOT to train.